Dearest anon, I’m going to assume this is Kakasaku. Hope that is cool with you.
Love, Kakashi found, isn’t what he expected it to be.
Well, of course there were the usuals. The bated breath, the odd humiliation of feeling that he wasn’t good enough, the skipped heartbeats, the clammy hands, the trembling sighs: All the hallmarks of people who fell in love.
But if he was to be completely honest, he was disappointed how this phase ended so quickly, unbelievably quickly. He didn’t know if it was because he was so late in the game (if he ever had game in the first place) or because he and Sakura had known each other forever to be truly playing the shy lovers longer than they should. He had literally seen her at her worst: Zits all over her face, sleeping in mud, not bathing for over two weeks. And she’d seen much worse of him. Oh yes, much worse. The worst.
Now that they had passed through the starstruck phase, there was the whole business of….loving. It did feel businesslike, for the lack of the better term, the gentle breaking of the news to friends and family, the repeated explanations. Sakura had very tactfully told those who took a little more effort in believing them to either believe it or to shut their pieholes for good. Well, at least that was an effective method.
And there’s this business of…moving in together. Not moving in together, as in, co-habitation, but the process of moving closer into the other’s space. There were walls to be knocked down, and rooms to be aired out, and he wasn’t always ready. Sometimes he would catch Sakura looking disappointed, when he’d casually shut her out, slamming the door in her face. But it’s second nature to me, Kakashi wanted to protest, but saying that aloud would be an even bigger disappointment.
But he tries, and luckily for him, she forgives. The thing was, he wanted her there, he really wanted her there, because she was clever and saw through all his crap, and took no excuses. However, he needed a lot of work, and a lot of help.
So maybe, this was what love was, that look of frustration mingled with understanding when they clash, when they run into the sharp angles, when she finally yelled at him for being inconsiderate. He’s still afraid that one day she’d see him and leave but one day she actually said, “Don’t be ridiculous; I’ll always love you.” And she said that in the exact same tone when she said, “Kakashi, you are impossible,” and he doesn’t quite understand why; but it’s all he needed to hear to know that yes, this was the real thing.
(It’s better than anything Jiraiya’s ever written.)